He's Better For You Than I Am
by snappypops
Summary: Remus Lupin can remember Lily Evans well. The moments he can see in his mind stand out with the light of a thousand suns. Everytime he closes his eyes, he sees her staring back. RL/LE
1. Chapter 1

_I'm standing here, gazing at you. At least, I think I'm standing. I've forgotten I exist. I'm struck to the spot by your beauty, your gracefulness. You seem to melt into a smile, an air of virtue surrounding, and I feel something much more amazing than magic. You turn those emerald eyes towards mine, and I know that the world has stopped._

_There are two things I seem to totally forget at this moment in time. _

_1. That you only have those eyes for James Potter._

_2. That I was the one who convinced you to choose him over me. _

_These things normally awake me in the middle of the night; pierce my thoughts with agonizing pain. They are even there when I become much more than a man. They stop me loving. But, on this one day, they have been blinded by your unimaginable charm; I have nothing on my mind but love for Lily Evans._

_I can see how I got this point through snapshots of memories. Small things, that no-one else would remember. I can remember the first time I saw a little redhead on the Hogwarts Express._

A slim boy of around eleven sat alone in a train compartment. Having already bid goodbye to his parents, he sat with his bronze eyes focussing on the words in the book in front of him. Remus Lupin was used to solitude even at this young age, and found it gave him great time to learn. He subconsciously rubbed one of the scars on his face, and his eyebrows crossed in concentration. Ignoring all of the tearful farewells and shrill platform whistles from outside, he didn't even notice the train door slide open.

"Is it alright if I sit with you?" came a frightful voice.

Remus lowered his new transfiguration book. At the door was a small, plump boy with sweat glistening on his brow. His colourless hair fell into his eyes, which looked at Remus anxiously.

Remus hesitated: he had learnt to avoid people. When you suffered from lycanthropy, nobody wanted to know you. His father and Professor Dumbledore had bother warned him not to give too much away. He normally did this by staying absolutely silent. But this was a new start, and after a couple of seconds, Remus smiled and said "Yeah sure, take a seat."

"Thanks." Said the podgy youngster, landing heavily into the seat opposite. "I've been worried for ages about coming. Mum thought we were going to miss the train, we were that late. I had to run to get through in time."

With this statement, the train lurched into motion, and the boy started waving furiously out of the window at his mother. Remus smiled. He knew now he wasn't alone in worrying about coming to Hogwarts. He and the boy, who turned out to be called Peter, talked lightly for part of the journey. They shared a little in common: They wanted to be both Gryffindors, they both enjoyed watching Quidditch, and as it turned out, both had the same fears about school.

"I hope I find someone good to hang round with. At Muggle School, nobody really liked me" said Peter, rather embarrassed by his loneliness.

With this, Remus could relate. He had never really had that good of friends. Some boys from village were okay to talk to, but his father had always told him to be careful around others, especially due to his illness. He thought privately that Peter had a very different reason for not having friends to what he had.

After around an hour of talking about Hogwarts, the doors opened again. This time, two people came in without asking, or even glancing at Peter and Remus. A very pallid and skinny black-haired boy was followed by a girl with blazing red hair. They were in mid conversation when the girl sat down next to Remus, and finished to her friend with "-absolute idiot. Remind me not to be in the same house as him."

"Yeah, don't worry about it. We'll be laughing our heads off at him when we're in Slytherin" answered the pale boy viciously. "Anyway, who'd want to be in Gryffindor? House of Courage? House of Ignorance more like."

"Actually, Professor Dumbledore was in Gryffindor, and he's not ignorant. He's quite understanding really" said Remus to pale boy, but flushed with colour as he realised he had shown he had been eavesdropping. The pale boy scowled at him, but the redhead next to him turned and asked "So you've met Professor Dumbledore?"

"Err yeah."

"So you're muggleborn too then?" She asked, rather excited.

"No, no I'm not" answered Remus, quite confused.

"Oh." She replied looking equally confused. "So when did you met him then?"

Remus could feel himself becoming redder in the face. Of course Dumbledore had met him and his parents, but not because he didn't have any wizarding blood; it was because he wasn't _human. _His brain started to jam, and it took a few seconds to find a plausible lie.

"He's a friend of the family" he finally stuttered out. The girl looked impressed and gave Remus a perfect pearly smile, but her pallid friend looked rather suspicious of his long pause.

The rest of the journey passed quite quickly, punctuated only with the odd question coming from the redhead, who turned out to be called Lily, about Hogwarts, its teachers, or just magic in general. As far as Remus could tell, her friend was called "Sev." He didn't think much to this "Sev", he was quite rude and closed-minded, but also wasn't fond of him because "Sev" had found a firm friend before Remus had.

After Lily had borrowed a sickle from Remus for a Pumpkin pasty, Peter had spilt his juice all over himself, and "Sev" had answered everything in fluent sarcasm, they finally arrived at Hogwarts. Remus couldn't really remember too much about crossing the black lake, apart from he shared the boat with Peter, and two other boys with black hair. The biting cold air, the smell of ferns on the breeze, the gentle lapping of the waters. Of this, nothing stood out. The next thing he could consciously remember, he was standing in front of an old hat in a magnificent old hall, and his fellow first years were disappearing from around him and reappearing on one of the four long tables. He saw one of the boys with black hair go forward when they shouted "Sirius Black", and Remus had to laugh along with everyone else when this Sirius gave a very audible whoop when he was sorted into Gryffindor. He watched particular carefully when Lily walked forwards when she was called, and for a second before the cheer, he heard a small groan come from his side when she was sorted into Gryffindor. Remus lurched forwards himself at the sound of his name, and while turning round to face the hall, he swore he could see a small wink come from Professor Dumbledore. As the hat was placed on his head, he made a decision, and he disregarded all past opinions on the houses. The hat touched his head, and he thought very clearly in his head "Put me in any house you like, I'm just glad to be here." No sooner had he mentally spoken the last word, the hat brim ripped open and screamed "Gryffindor!"

Remus could do nothing but grin from ear to ear as he walked towards the table of scarlet and gold. He sat down next to Sirius Black, with Lily sat opposite him. She gave Remus a quick smile, before noticing who he was sitting next to, and giving Sirius a freezing look. Remus looked at Lily even when she had turned away, and it wasn't until a large boy jumped to sit down next to him and his extra weight made Remus rise slightly off of the bench that he stopped. Peter squealed "I can't believe I made Gryffindor! Me!"

Remus smiled and congratulated him, and was soon joined the other black haired boy. He adjusted his glasses as he took a seat next to Lily and gave a high-five to Sirius across the table. "Told you Gryffindor was the house of legends!"

Lily gave a very loud tut and turned to face the girl on her left. The glasses boy spotted her and chimed "Where's Snivellus eh? Oh yeah, he's over there on the loser table."

Remus laughed along with the other boys at this, but when he looked at Lily, he could see her eyes wobbling with tears. He felt a sudden pang of guilt.

His memories from that day seemed to skip all of the unimportant bits. The marvellous food, the mindless chatter of four eleven year olds, being shown the way to Gryffindor tower, and even the first expressions of the common room. The points that are embossed in his mind is pulling back his duvet, and listening to Peter laughing at one of boy's jokes. It was quite lucky that the three boys he seemed to like turned out to be his dorm mates. Each one of them brought something to the atmosphere, no matter how small or insignificant. He really liked all three of them, and they all shared the same sense of humour, although some were crueller with it. As Remus climbed into bed, he heard the other boy, James, making a crude joke about Severus Snape, or "Sev." He gave an automatic laugh, but thought again of how Lily's eyes dampened, and he knew from then he wouldn't tease Severus Snape for that reason. As he laid down into his sheets however, his thoughts weren't on Slytherin or sickles; it was on four people he had met today which he was sure he would always remember, and hoped they would never forget him.


	2. Chapter 2

_I'm wondering if you can remember any of this. Any of this which haunts me at my worst moments. What I first picture when I think about pure happiness. I worry that you can't see the significance, as if your mind has been wiped by your love for another man._

_There are so many memories of you that I hold onto. That childhood innocence is stamped on the inside of my memory. But I just want to thank Professor McGonagall personally, for she sat us together that one afternoon. She gave me this memory wrapped up in a transfiguration class._

"Mr Lupin, do you have any idea where is?" asked Professor McGonagall sharply. Remus shook his head. He felt his back give a painful crack; it had been a painful moon, last month. He rubbed his spine carefully, and glanced at the empty seat next to him. His transfiguration partner was missing; he had not seen Stebbins since breakfast. Remus pivoted around to take in the noise-filled classroom, which was bursting of second years taking it in turns to transform their animal into a hat. The room was full of the complicated incantation, and Remus had to crane his neck round to see who was sat right at the back. It was Lily Evans. Also sat completely alone. McGonagall seemed to fill in what Remus's head was thinking.

"Miss Evans, where's your partner? Where's Miss Ormsby?"

"She's in the hospital wing, Professor. Michael Stebbins hit her with a spell at breakfast. Madam Promfey's trying to shrink her nose." Said Lily, and Remus was sure he saw a fleeting look of laughter in her eyes.

"Then, where's Mr. Stebbins?" asked McGonagall impatiently.

"He's with his head of house, Professor."

"Very well" clipped McGonagall and she looked down at Remus. "Mr. Lupin, take your things to the back and share Miss. Evans's gerbil."

Remus jumped up as if electrocuted, and grabbed his books and bag in his hands, and hurried to the back. Along the way, he saw James and Sirius grinning at him, James wearing a furry bowler hat. He smiled back, but kept heading for the desk right with the redhead. He had always liked Lily; she just seemed a person he could talk to easily.

"Hi" he said breathlessly, and dropped in the seat next to Lily. She returned his toothy grin, and moved her gerbil to the middle of the desk. "This is Barney" she said, pointing to the fat, blonde gerbil. Remus looked at him for a moment, and asked "Is he yours?"

"Yeah, I brought him from home. My mum and dad gave both me and Petunia-" she suddenly stopped, realising what she'd said. She looked at Remus, as if wishing him to speak, and just forget what had been spoken.

Remus knew what she was feeling. When you've got an issue very close to your chest, you'd rather not mention it; especially to someone you didn't know awfully well. He jumped in with "Do you want to have a go? It is ladies first."

Lily looked relieved, withdrew her wand, pointed it at Barney and said clearly "bestia capitis!"

Barney didn't do anything for a moment, and then his skin slowly turned a sickly pea green. Remus couldn't help but burst out laughing. He was glad to see that when he looked up, so was Lily. She was shaking her head in disbelief. "I was aiming for a green wizard's hat. But really, I only managed half."

"Well, it isn't that bad, it's still quite an achievement. Although", he added, "I would feel fairly stupid wearing him on my head."

Lily started laughing again, and Remus smiled wider. He reached to brush his hair out of his eyes, and pain shot through his back again: he'd really cracked it bad this time. Although they never healed properly, this seemed to be worse than normal. Lily fixed on him, saw the pain in his face and said "Are you okay Remus?"

He tried to block out the pain, and focus on her face. He didn't want to seem weak in front of her, and the last thing he wanted was for her to see what was really wrong with him. He pasted on his usual beam and said "yeah, I'm fine. Just a late night last night."

Lily's look of concern dropped of her face, and it was replaced by an uncharacteristic cold one.

"Did Potter and Black keep you up? Did they spend all night decorating the common room with toilet roll again?"

Remus felt his smile falter under her glare. "That was once. Plus, it was pretty funny. Did you see the first years when they saw the mountains of white paper? Anyway, nobody got hurt or anything did they?"

"Well, nobody might've got hurt, but the house-elves accidentally threw my homework away while cleaning up. I had to write another two rolls for that essay" said Lily, annoyed.

Remus tried hard to keep a straight face of concern, but a sneaky grin managed to sidle in. Lily saw it, and immediately broke down in a laugh. "It's not funny, Remus Lupin! Slughorn almost had to give me detention!" she said, half giggling, and giving Remus a fake punch on the arm.

"Yeah, as if Slughorn would give you detention. You're the best at potions in our year!"

There was a slight awkward silence of appreciation, with Lily mumbling a small "Thanks."

Remus could feel himself blushing, and quickly looked down at his book to check the write pronunciation of the incantation. Time seemed to ebb away even more slowly, and each second stretched on. He could hear the noisy class in the distance, but when Lily spoke, she seemed deafening in his ears.

"Well, I might be best at potions, but McGonagall will definitely give us homework if we can't turn Barney right" said Lily, pointing back to Barney, who was still very much green, and not a hat.

"Right" mumbled Remus, and he looked up at Lily. He felt an unusual pain in his chest, which he had no idea where it was from. "With a bit of teamwork, I think we can escape some homework", and with that, he pointed his wand at Barney, concentrated on what he wanted to happen, and clearly said "bestia capitis!"

Barney started to elongate, and his fur was retreating back into his skin. His little eyes reduced into small beads, and his ears turned into tufts of lace. In a few seconds, the gerbil was no longer a gerbil: it was a tall, green wizard's hat.

"Well done, Lupin" smirked Lily, and Remus mimicked her expression.

"Thanks, Evans." Replied Remus. He opened his mouth to speak again, when his attention was grabbed by Sirius Black at the front of the class, who had managed to set Peter's tie on fire, and had to be extinguished with an un-amused McGonagall. He was still chuckling along with the rest of the class when he looked back at Lily, to find her with a stony look imprinted on her face.

"Shame Black can't aim right, he could've got Potter" sneered Lily, looking thoroughly irritated.

Remus was surprised at how different she could become in the space of a few seconds; she wasn't all smiles and giggles. She was tough beneath that persona.

"Harsh, Evans. Very harsh." He said with a face of mock offence.

"Well, he is a total bonehead. I have no idea why you're friends with him Remus."

"To be fair, if we're going to criticise each other's mates, you do hand round with Severus Snape, and he isn't exactly a basket of roses," retorted Remus fairly.

Lily turned a little pinker in the cheeks. He suddenly felt guilty. He shouldn't have brought up that particular friendship. He quickly added "Look, I think we should promise not to fall out just because our friends hate each other. We should just leave them out of it."

"Okay, so if I'm not allowed to call Potter names, you're not allowed to call Sev names either" said Lily, looking at Remus, daring him to agree.

"Remus smiled, and said "I promise."

They both smiled at each other for a moment, till Professor McGonagall reached the back of the class, and noticed that they had succeeded in transforming Barney. She made a deal of quietening the entire class to make an announcement.

"Well it seems that Mr. Lupin and Miss. Evans have succeeded in transforming their animal. If only some people worked with such concentration" she irked, throwing a dirty look to the other three marauders at the front. She turned to Remus and gave him a rare smile. He turned to Lily, and saw she was also giving him a dazzling beam.

Remus Lupin couldn't believe his luck. He spent the rest of the lesson copying down the notes, a comfortable peace between Remus and Lily, as they ever so often knocked elbows while writing. He hardly felt the steps walking down to the Great Hall for lunch, and was surprised when he found himself sat down on the Gryffindor table, tucking into some turkey sandwiches.

"Hey, Remus! Can you hear us?" he heard a distance voice say. He turned, and saw his three friends all staring at him. Each one showed varying faces of concern.

"What? What is it?" he asked quickly, worried there was something he had missed.

"Are you feeling alright mate?" questioned Sirius, looking Remus up and down, as if he was ill.

"Why? I'm fine." Remus mumbled into his sandwich.

"You're not still worrying about, about, you know, what we know, are you?" asked James quietly. Remus was brought back down to earth with an unsettling bump. "Yeah, I'm fine with it."

"'Cause you know we'll never tell anyone, don't you?" added Sirius.

"Not anyone, never," wheezed Peter.

Remus surprised them all by giving them a weak smile. "I'm not worried at all. I'm astounded, I'll give you that" he said, letting out a chortle, "But I'm not worried. I trust you enough. Plus, it'd be half-way around school by now, wouldn't it?" he added, looking around at his fellow students.

The friends looked relieved, and patted him on the back. Remus tucked into his rice- pudding, in his mind running over lots of conversations at once, contemplating just how amazing his friends were. Nothing but that rice pudding saw the smile on Remus Lupin's lips.


	3. Chapter 3

_What if i hadn't have done it. What if that day never happened? If I wasn't such a self-sacrificing idiot. Or if you had realised your feelings earlier? Would we be that different? Would we be together? Or would you have come to your senses? Would it be me you would hold every night, and me that you thought of in the loneliest of moments?_

_I wish I still had you to nurse me through the worst of my days. What your voice did to me in that isolated hospital ward, and how your words healed me much more than any potion I've ever tasted._

Shapes and colours swam into Remus's eyes through the darkness. A blank ceiling, Dampened walls and a chipped dado rail. Remus tried to focus on which was up, where he was, but his head felt as though somebody has stamped on it. Every blink was a dull thud in the back of his skull. Every sound was a blade wound to his eardrums. He was definitely lying on something, warm and clean. But his body was a different story. He could tell his leg was cut deep- his muscles slowly working to repair the damage.. He moved his fingers, which felt like they had been newly mended. He realised where he was, and what had happened the night before. He dug his palms into the hospital bed and tried and failed to raise himself into the sitting position.

"Stay down Remus, you'll feel better for it." came a soft voice from the distance.

He slowly looked over, and saw Madam Pomfrey emerging from her office. He had the bed closest to it, and sickly looking curtains had been drawn round to hide his agony.

Madam Pomfrey looked down on him, great pity welling up in her eyes. He looked away, embarrassed. He wish she had got used to his constant pain by now; he certainly had.

"How bad was it this time?" he croaked weakly, his throat burning.

"Worse than last month" she said, compassion flooding her voice. "You've managed to break a few fingers, a couple of ribs and your nose. They've all fixed now, but you've scratched yourself quite bad."

Remus swallowed uncomfortably, worry on his mind. Scars were getting harder to hide. The ones that ran like traintracks up and down his body were old news to his friends, but school uniform could only hide so much. Ever so often, a new fresh cut would appear on his face, and he'd have to make up another hideous lie to how he got it.

"Is there anything else?" he asked, trying to stay calm.

"Err yes" she hastened, "You've ruined your last cloak. You must've left it too close to you. From now on, leave it in the-"

"I did! I left it in the tunnel like you've told me, and i went upstairs and sat on the bed. Like always" he added, looking annoyed. If he had ruined another cloak, he last, he must've ventured into the tunnel, which he had never done before. Madam Pomfrey seemed to read his mind.

"They are steadily getting worse. I've been doing my reading, and the teenage years are very damaging. It might calm down once you leave Hogwarts, but it's because of your hormones at the moment."

Remus felt colour running into his pale face. It was bad enough all the teachers knew, and the gamekeeper and Madam Pomfrey saw him in his disrobed aftermath, but his matron talking about his raging hormones was too much.

"Don't worry Remus; you'll be fine in a few days. I'll get your potion. Anything else you need?"

Remus thought for a moment. The potion was useless, but it was best to just drink it to stop Madam Pomfrey harking on at him. His mind quickly jumped to what would cheer him up.

"Could I have a bar of Chocolate please?" he asked carefully, looking at her for her reply. She looked down at him, a look of incredulity on her middle-aged face.

"You always seem to be well enough for chocolate" she chimed, a smile lurking. She turned into her office, finishing "I don't know how you manage it."

"It just makes me feel a bit better" he mumbled, to no one in particular. He pushed himself up, and grimaced in pain. He lent on the pillows painfully, as there was somehow grazes all down his back. Madam Pomfrey returned with his acid yellow potion and a bar of Honeydukes finest. He returned her swift smile, and downed the potion in one. It was supposed to relieve pain, but never did. His throat felt bruised and it tingled as the liquid past down it. Scowling at the taste, he reached for the bar and ripped into it. He gulped down the dark chocolate, his senses awaking to the flavours. Then, he heard two people in the corridor reaching to the hospital wing. As their voices grew stronger, he could just make out their conversation.

"I can't believe she hexed you. Do you even know her?!" asked a floaty girls voice.

"No, she's just some 5th year. Never seen her before in my life!" came an angry girl's voice.

Remus froze. He recognised the angry girl's voice. As they entered the ward, he knew exactly who was on the other side of his curtain. He began to panic, and several questions arose in his head. What if she found out he was here? What is she found out why he was there? Would things ever be the same? But the first thing he thought of were not either of these, it was what if she's hurt?

"Madam Pomfrey! Madam Pomfrey!" came the floaty voice loudly, slightly panicky. Remus's insides tightened agonizingly. Madam Pomfrey marched out of her office, and past the curtain around Remus's bed. She stopped dead after a second.

"My goodness girl, whats happened to you?" came her shrill voice, in a completely different tone to which she spoke to Remus.

"A slytherin 5th year cursed me, Madam Pomfrey, and Professor Flitwick doesn't know what spell it was," said Lily Evan's voice sadly.

"Well, you best sit down dear; I'll just look up your symptoms," replied Pomfrey, sweeping over to the large storing cabinet in the corner of the ward. She called over her shoulder "You can leave your friend with me now, Miss, err-"

"It's Megan, and I want to stay with Lily!" said Megan, her high voice pleading.

"It's not necessary, and I'm sure your teacher is missing you. Now go." Answered Madam Pomfrey sternly, and Remus heard Megan dragging her heels out of the ward. Halfway down the corridor however, he heard her give a squeak, and there was a bang to the floor.

"Sorry!" came a cold voice, but it didn't sound sorry at all, nor did it sound like whoever knocked Megan to the floor did help her up. But Remus seemed to recognise that voice too.

"Lily!" screeched the voice, spinning into the room, and running to the bed next to Remus's, divided by a curtain. "Are you okay? Florence told me you got hexed on the 6th floor, are you hurt? Who did it? I'll kill-"

"Mr Snape, please return to your lesson! Miss Evans can survive without your presence up here thank you" snapped Madam Pomfrey, turning to look at the new appearance.

"But, can me-"implored Severus.

"No! Now, return to your class this instant!" barked Madam Pomfrey, anger etched into her face, her voice full of annoyance at the constant arrival of third years in her ward.

Severus slowly walked back down the length of the ward, and turned to walk down the corridor, but Remus heard no footsteps. Madam Pomfrey didn't seem to notice the lack of footsteps, and marched back to Lily's bed, carrying a vial of steaming blue water. As she disappeared past Remus's curtain, she spoke.

"Drink this all in one go. It'll take about 10 minutes to change back to the normal colour, and then you can go." Said Madam Pomfrey, still somewhat irked. She turned, walked back to her office, and slammed the door, and pulled the blinds down. With the sound of her office closing, he heard a quiet noise.

"Psssst!" came a noise from the doorway.

"Sev! Go back to lessons! She'll go mad if you're in here!" whispered Lily back.

"Na, it's okay, it's only Arithmancy" replied Severus, and quiet footsteps echoed in the ward. He stopped, and must have sat on her bed, as the mattress springs creaked.

"Are you okay, Lils?" he asked, concern in every corner of every word.

"Yeah, I'm fine, just annoyed. I mean, look at me! I look terrible!" snapped a quiet irritated voice.

"I don't think you look terrible" Severus mumbled, but Lily didn't seem to hear him, but carried on in her angry tirade.

"I mean, what kind of person does this? Look at the state of me!" she sighed.

"This is all Potters fault! If he hadn't have pushed passed her, she wouldn't have turned around and thought it was me! You should have seen the look on her face! Stupid Potter pushing to get past, so she spilt Pumpkin juice all over!" Replied Lily, venting her anger. Severus seemed to only hear one word.

"Potter!? It was him?! He can't just do this! I'll kill him!" screeched Severus, pounding the bed with his fists.

"Well, you won't Sev. That'll just exacerbate things. Plus," she added, an unusual tone in her voice, "him and Black might tear you apart, and no one wants that."

Severus seemed to pause for moment, contemplating the fact that Lily didn't want him to be torn apart, and then seemed to boil with rage again instantly.

"I hate the lot of them, I could take them. That Potter and Black are so far up their own arses, I could manage them with one spell. Plus, that Pettigrew wouldn't be much use; he's so fat I can't believe he manages it up the stairs without collapsing, as for that Lupin-"

"There's nothing wrong with Remus, don't start on him, he wasn't there," cut in Lily, her voice full of fire, and Remus felt his heart suddenly uproar with joy, "He's not the same as the rest of them, he's-"

Remus never found out what Lily thought about him; Severus snorted so loud Remus couldn't believe he didn't disturb Madam Pomfrey.

"What, Lupin?! You're sticking up for him?! He's Black's and Potter's best mate! He's a prat like the rest of them. Doesn't help that he looks like a cats scratching post most of the time too" sneered Snape.

Remus felt much more drained than we he had awoken. Even if he didn't care what Snape thought about him, it still meant that some students were noticing his injuries that he kept arriving back at school with new wounds. He waited on baited breath for Lily's reply.

"What?! Severus Snape, that is the most horrible thing you've ever said! For you information, he's my friend! He's nothing like that, he's, it's, you've, oh go away!" she spat, and kicked him off the bed, as he fell onto the cold floor with a clatter and a grunt.

With this noise, Madam Pomfrey opened the blinds with some force, peering out to see what caused such a thump. After her eyes met with Remus sat in his bed and his curtain, she stood up to open the door to investigate further.

Lily's frantic voice whispered quickly "Hide Sev! Quick!"

Remus couldn't believe how her tone had changed: had she just forgotten how Snape had spoken about him?

Snape stood up quickly, and scrambled into the corner of the curtain on Lily's side, right next to Remus. Madam Pomfrey opened the door vigorously, and stepped out into the ward. She walked slowly towards the curtains edge, looking for the source of the noise. She passed the edge of the curtain, and if she hadn't been looking to the right, she would have seen Severus Snape on her left slip through the screen backwards, and pass into Remus's side. With Snape's back to him, Remus stared in shock. It could only be a few seconds till he turned around, saw him in bed, covered in cuts and bruises, and gave the game up. Remus stared at the back of his greasy head, willing him to stay facing that way, but he knew that Snape would eventually turn around at some point. He lay, not even breathing, not daring to do anything that would draw attention to him. He could hear Snape's trembling breath, and saw a dusty footprint on his leg where Lily had kicked him. He heard Madam Pomfrey's voice on the other side of the curtain.

"What was that noise?" she asked Lily, sounding suspicious.

"I don't know Miss" squeaked Lily, no sound of guilt in her voice.

Madam Pomfrey threw a look into the wards doorway, then turned and approached Lily.

"Well, your skins clear. You can go now." She said roughly, ushered Lily off the bed, and started smoothing out the sheets ready for the next patient.

As Lily stood on the cold floor, Severus Snape turned round. He froze to the spot when he made eye contact with Remus Lupin. Remus sat there, fear etched in his scars, and saw Snape eying up all of his wounds, his broken body in the hospital bed, the chocolate bar in his hand, and the empty vial on his bedside cabinet. They sized each other up for a good few seconds, not knowing how to move forward from this point. After a few seconds of blank shock on his face, it was replaced by a nauseating sneer, and Snape slowly raised a finger to his lips, looking deeply into Remus's eyes.

Remus looked into the dark tunnels of Severus Snape's eyes, and understood. He too, slowly raised a finger up to his lips, and for a moment, Snape and Remus mirrored each other, both pressuring each other into silence.

Then, Madam Pomfrey walked past them, heading for the storage cabinet. Snape took his chance, with one last fleeting look at Remus, whipped round the curtain and ran full pelt out of the ward. Madam Pomfrey looked round just in time to see his robes disappearing around the door.

She looked angrily at Remus, and asked "Who the devil was that ?"

Remus registered the use of his last name, but knew he and Snape now had some sort of a deal. He couldn't risk going back on it now. What if Snape told people what he had seen? Someone would piece it together, and then the secret would be out. He couldn't risk it. Not now. He cleared his throat, and said clearly "I don't know Madam Pomfrey."


End file.
